Since California can’t figure out how to secede and still keep the welfare billions rolling in, the Handy Dandy Secessionist should know a couple of things: how to dress, how to shoot, and basic medicine.
How to dress is often a puzzle to the Handy Dandy Secessionist. Today’s neo-punk illusion of anarchists wear black. So too do ISIS members. For folks like me in the targeting arena, wearing all black and face-masks is what we call “a target.” So, tip #1 to the Handy Dandy Secessionist: don’t make yourself a target. If you must wear all black, be sure in your body language to make yourself look unimportant, say by saluting or bowing to the person next to you. That FBI sniper may just have one bullet left.
Today’s Handy Dandy Secessionist discovered the fearsome, dreaded “black machine gun assault rifles.” A number of secessionists recently discovered that having one in the home doesn’t keep Capitalism or the Patriarchy at bay. Bullets have recently been discovered as somehow part of the equation. It is my patriotic duty, and service to fellow citizens to offer tip #2: there is a way of operating those rifles.
Whether on the range or on school grounds pepper-spraying students attempting an education, sometimes the Handy Dandy Secessionist will suffer an injury. It’s best to think ahead, but then they wouldn’t be secessionists, but still – consider training. This may help with just about everything except rectal defilade with your can of bear-mace after you assault the wrong person.
Your welcome you awesome spectacles of anarchism you. Here’s a free tip for you: name your band “The Passenger Pigeons.” No reason, just sounds cool, just like an independent California.